Letter to my Family: Diagnosis Part 2

My Stomache: Well Besides the Acid reflex wich isnt total BS, it just happens there is MUCH more to it. Whenever I eat somthing I feel very weak and sluggish, I also have a feeling like I need to vomet but in most causes dont. its the same feeling I get when I have somthing around my neck be it a semi-tight shirt coller, neckless, TK's Legs cause he thinks Daddys neck is a Pony and my nose is the reins, etc.... It feels like im being chocked. I get the same feeling no matter how much I eat, be it 2 pieces of toast all the way to 3 plates at a buffet. Also when I first wake up in the morning im congested and feel like im being chocked as well, and when I say every morning, I mean every morning for almost 6 years I have woke up congested.(11 years now. Congested isn't the word. Thick Mucus build up on my throat... likely from the damage my Acid reflex has caused)


Mental Issues: Where do you want me to start...

Day Terrors, vissions, etc... When Karen is heading out the door and she begins to tell me step by step what she is doing, where she is going, how long she is going to be I try to shush her as soon as I can. and this is why. Anytime somthing is said be it going to sthe store, lets take TK to the park, whatever.

Examples: at this point in the letter I give two detailed Triggers and Day terror associated with it. even though I have labeled this Blog as Adult I'm not ready to be that graphic in here. so instead I will give a better explanation to what I view is a Day Terror.


When a Day Terror is triggered it comes in three forms.

the first is the basic Day Terror. my eyes blink as my Subconscious paints a very vivid scene. most the time its car wrecks and the such. its as vivid as TV(HD even) and comes from a 3rd person view as if I'm overlooking it, again much like TV. unlike TV I can feel the heat/cold of the event, and even in some cases the smells. Burnt rubber, gasoline fire, sulphur, etc... this form of day terror lasts for a few seconds but feels like minutes have passed.

the second form of Day terror is much like the above but 'wig out' for almost a minute and the 'event' feels more like hours have passed watching the event.

with these first two triggered events I'm aware its not real, and the time lapse is obvious once the event is over. (save for one case were I lost from 3am-3:25am Friday morning April 3rd(?))

the third kind of Triggered event is a Panic attack. this is not mental but is physical. my heart races, I cant breath, my body shuts down for 3-4 seconds, to 1 minute... the shorter ones don't need a Trigger and just tend to happen a few times a day.


rarely I have a Panic attack AND a Day Terror at the same time. when it does happen it sticks with me for a while.